Adapted The Bitch in Your Head: How to Finally Squash Your Inner Critic, by Jacqueline Plumez, Rowman & Littlefield, 2015.
When I got my Ph.D. in psychology at Columbia, I was trained in psychotherapy, marriage counseling and career counseling. While in graduate school, I began asking career counseling clients this question, ”If I had a magic wand, and could make anything possible. If you didn’t have to worry if people would think you were crazy – and didn’t have to worry about whether you had the skills or training or money to pull it off, what would you do if ANYTHING was possible?
When I started asking this, I was sure that everyone would tell me impossible dreams — 50-year-old women would want to be prima ballerinas and low-level accountants would want to loll around on yachts in the Mediterranean, living like billionaires.
But here is the amazing – and rather sad — thing that I found: In all the years that I have asked this question, only a handful of people have told me impossible things. The Bitch in their heads said they could not fulfill their dream, But once we looked at vocational interest tests and began to make plans, at least a version of their “crazy” aspirations could come true. The main thing that has held them back from achieving their dreams is negative thinking.
So, let me ask you a question.
”If I had a magic wand, and could make ANYTHING possible. If you didn’t have to worry if people would think you were crazy – and didn’t have to worry about whether you had the skills or training or money to pull it off, what would you do if ANYTHING was possible?”
Don’t let The Bitch in Your Head tell you what you want is impossible. Spend your time and energy trying to figure out how you can make your dream come true. You might find a way to make your “impossible” dream possible! And even if you can’t, you will respect yourself for having given it a try.
Happy Thanksgiving – and think about giving The Bitch in Your Head: How to Finally Squash Your Inner Critic to someone you love over the holidays!
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