Adapted from Chapter 16, Ding dong the Bitch is Dead: And How to Keep Her That Way, from The Bitch in Your Head: How to Finally Squash Your Inner Critic, by Jacqueline Plumez, Rowman & Littlefield, 2015.
If you’ve been reading the “Three Way” series of emails, or better yet, if you have been reading The Bitch in Your Head: How to Finally Squash Your Inner Critic, you may be Bitch-free by now! Feels good to stop all that depressing self-criticism, doesn’t it? But old habits die hard: Bitchy thinking will creep back in. So, here are three ways to create a maintenance program which will Bitch-proof your life forever:
1. Identify Constructive Versus Destructive Criticism
Everyone makes mistakes and has problems. Constructive criticism identifies what needs to be changed to overcome the mistakes and problems without being insulting, and sets positive goals that are reasonable to achieve. Destructive criticism is what The Bitch specializes in: making you feel so bad that it’s hard to summon the energy and creativity to change.
2. Go on a Bitch hunt with a friend
Read the book with a friend and agree to call each other out when you hear The Bitch rearing her ugly head. You can hear your friend being Bitchy to herself in ways she may not realize and vice versa. My bridge foursome has fun catching each other’s Bitch!
3. The Acid Test
Never Say Anything to Yourself that You Wouldn’t Say to a Friend or Your Child. This rule always bears repeating. Only offer criticism to yourself in the positive terms you would use to motivate or help someone you love. No more being mean to yourself. It’s more depressing than motivating and it has to stop!
What to do
Imagine how great it would be if we lived in a Bitch-free society! Imagine how the quality of life, and even the economy, would improve if we all felt free to pursue our dreams. After all, our constitution guarantees the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. So leave your Bitch-baggage behind and go for it!
Help others by passing this along. And post a picture of you with The Bitch on Facebook!